Christmas Snake

Christmas Snake, Oh Christmas Snake

All my presents, take

Take them to heaven, and give them to Jesus




Give Jesus my sweaters and my new iPod

Give all of my video games to God

I'm hanging on to my Blackberry

But give my electric Garlic Press to Mother Mary



My stocking's hanging up by the chimney

Its full of snakes, writhing merrily

And Santa's waving at me from his sleigh

Drawn by eight magic snakes, slithering away




Christmas Snake, I'll ride you to the mall

Return all my presents, and take the money

And use it to buy me some nice whiskey

And a Blow-Up Doll

of Jesus