Breaking news in the field of Science: I, Buffie, have discovered, developed and patented a highly-effective cutting-edge motion-sickness technology, as effective as Dramamine, Valium, or Anaesthesia but entirely without side effects. This product was developed on board the "Sea Cat" a high-speed Catamaran ferry en route from the island of Crete to a neighboring isle, upon what seemed to be a pleasantly blustery day. On the open sea, pleasant blusteriness quickly translated into vicious winds and 10-foot swells from which the vessel leapt with wild abandon, soaring airborne for a horrifying moment before smashing to the sea's surface with a thunderous crash and a rattling of its innards. The screams of terror, along with the chorus of retchings from the passengers, were loud enough even to drown out the blaring Greek-pop TV that is piped into every corner of this nation's sea-craft. Almost every passenger was either barfing, or assisting their friends and spouses in aiming the barf into appropriate receptacles. The unflappable crew staggered up and down the aisles dispensing fresh barf-bags and collecting filled ones, occasionally flung against one another by the plunging motion of the vessel, but stoically without flinching or cursing or barfing themselves. One uppity British "gentleman" shouted at no one in particular, "Aren't you Greeks supposed to be the greatest seamen in the bloody world!" In the end, it is debatable whether the majority of the vomiting was a reflex of seasickness or a response to the stench and sound of others' vomiting.
I however, sat blissfully in my seat contemplating the savage beauty of the waves, immune to the effects of the storm due to a technique, I mean a Technology which my distressed mind invented at that moment in its desperate attempt to spare the body from this plague of puking. It goes like this:
First, relax your whole body, do not attempt to fight the rising and falling of the vessel by tensing the body.
Now, close your eyes and imagine that you are a Dolphin. Repeat after me: I am a Dolphin, swimming in the sea. I am a Dolphin, leaping out of the sea and diving back into it (as you will know dolphins do if you've ever observed one. I am a dolphin, playing in the sea. Every time the boat lurches up: I am a dolphin, leaping from the sea! I am a glorious beast! Every time the boat crashes down, repeat: I am a dolphin, diving into the sea! This may sound retarded but, try it! As basically the only non-puking person on the Sea Cat, I am living Scientific proof of its effectiveness. Try it, and each time you do, you may send $10 in American cash to me, Buffie, P.O. Box 1272, NY, NY 11349, thank you
Disclaimer: this procedure may not be effective for other types of motion-sickness such as car, airplane, train, or carousel sickness.
Additional notes: The Dolphin device may be replaced with another animal as the user sees fit.
I however, sat blissfully in my seat contemplating the savage beauty of the waves, immune to the effects of the storm due to a technique, I mean a Technology which my distressed mind invented at that moment in its desperate attempt to spare the body from this plague of puking. It goes like this:
First, relax your whole body, do not attempt to fight the rising and falling of the vessel by tensing the body.
Now, close your eyes and imagine that you are a Dolphin. Repeat after me: I am a Dolphin, swimming in the sea. I am a Dolphin, leaping out of the sea and diving back into it (as you will know dolphins do if you've ever observed one. I am a dolphin, playing in the sea. Every time the boat lurches up: I am a dolphin, leaping from the sea! I am a glorious beast! Every time the boat crashes down, repeat: I am a dolphin, diving into the sea! This may sound retarded but, try it! As basically the only non-puking person on the Sea Cat, I am living Scientific proof of its effectiveness. Try it, and each time you do, you may send $10 in American cash to me, Buffie, P.O. Box 1272, NY, NY 11349, thank you
Disclaimer: this procedure may not be effective for other types of motion-sickness such as car, airplane, train, or carousel sickness.
Additional notes: The Dolphin device may be replaced with another animal as the user sees fit.
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